[this is the last installment of a story in progress, last published 26Aug2020]
Cairn is very much alive and well these days, It’s a joy to see her grow bigger each day, to witness her wean from her mother’s milk and begin to explore the world on her own, to watch her run and play and know that I had something to do with her growth and freedom. Cairn taught me the power of loving a wild helpless thing and my encounter with her continues to reveal deep truths about life.
Cairn taught me how to ask for help in moments of great need and how to hold the space for healing my inner wildness. At times when I find myself stuck in a hole that’s hard to get out of – a bog of negative thoughts that can pull me into a cold, dark space that I can’t dig myself out of – I call on dear friends, family, and my inner teacher for support. I’ve found that help always arrives when I ask for it, even though it may not come in the shape or form that I wish for. This support breaks up any negative thinking and paves the way to freedom, at least for a while.
These days, when the world around me feels less than fulfilling, I remember the few precious moments when I held Cairn in my arms and imagine holding myself in the same way – calmly and with lots of caring. I think it must be part of the human condition to wish for loving arms to lift us out of our suffering, to comfort us until we are strong enough to stand on our own once again. I’m glad that I did this for Cairn. I’m ever grateful that my dear friends and family continue to do this for me and hope that I’m able to do as much for them. May we all do as much for each other each and every day.